Tag Archives: Job Interview

Whoa! Check Out These 16 Tough Job Interview Questions

14 Mar
meeting room

1. How loyal an employee are you? Or to put it more precisely: how loyal a team member are you?

2. If you answered loyal or very loyal: To whom are you loyal? Particular team members or the group as a whole?

3. Do you think you can be disloyal to a team member while remaining loyal to the group?

4. Do you think it is important for team members to be able to relate to each other on a personal level?

5. Do you think in order to relate to one another on a personal level, relationships outside of work should be encouraged? For instance, meeting one another’s families?

6. Continuing with this example: Suppose there is a particular team member, Greg in accounts let’s call him, who had dinner at my house a couple of times. Do you think it’s odd that my wife gets cagey whenever I mention Greg?

7. And Greg: Do you think it’s curious that whenever I mention my family in passing conversation in the office, Greg, if he is in earshot, he looks away almost reflexively? You know, like with guilt?

8. You seem uncomfortable. Remember: it’s only a hypothetical.

9. I mean, I’ve never been described, at least to my knowledge, as a suspicious or jealous guy.

10. I don’t understand why you’re fidgeting. Please remain seated. There are still a few questions left.

11. And yes, of course, Cheryl and I may be a little distant from each other at the moment. But there’s something else there. Not so much a distance, but, like a wedge, you know?

12. And Greg. We used to talk all the time. Big Habs fan that guy. But now…it’s like he’s avoiding me. I don’t think I’m being paranoid here. It’s been going on for some time. What do you think?

13. Damn it man: Please remain seated. The door is locked anyway. This is between us.

14. Would you consider this loyal? Is this good for office morale? I mean, how can you run a team like this?

15. Now—and this is just hypothetical at this point—do you think you could maybe follow Greg? Just for a week or so. Just to see what he’s up to.

16. What? You’re here for the junior sales manager position? You mean you’re not the private investigator I called to come in today? Um…

Werner Herzog Conducts a Job Interview

23 Oct

wh

Ever been to a job interview where the questions thrown at you were so apparently irrelevant yet earnestly put that they seem to have slid out of the mind of some curious riddler in the shade of, say, Werner Herzog?

What if Werner Herzog actually was the person interviewing you?

INT. CORNER OFFICE–DAY

CANDIDATE, a sharply dressed young man, walks confidently into a corner office with WERNER HERZOG sitting at a desk, the city skyline peeking through the blinds of the window behind him.

Candidate: Hello. Mr. Herzog? I’m David. We spoke on the phone. I’m here for the job interview.
Werner Herzog: Oh yes. Yes. Please, Verner is fine. Nice to meet you, David. Take a seat. How are you?
C: Goo..well, thank you. How are you?
WH: Good. Sank you.

WH: Okay. Lez get started–if you vere to walk into vwork and see a banana peel on ze floor, how vould zat make you feel?
C: Uh..well, I’m not sure, to be honest. Is it my banana?
WH: It is its own banana. But only a peel now. Ze banana part is gone.
C: I’m not sure of the relev….
WH: Could you pick up the banana, do you sink?
C: The banana peel, you mean? And yes, of course. But why…
WH: Ah, you learn quick. Good. Now let me ask you: Vould you pick up ze banana peel?
C: Why? Have I been asked to?
WH: You mean: is it part of your job?
C: Yes.
WH:
C: …do you want me to pick up a banana peel?
WH: Yes.
C: Is it part of my job?
WH: In a way.
C: What does that mean? All due respect, but I thought I was being interviewed as an accountant. Not a janitor.
WH: But isn’t an accountant just a janitor for numbers?
C: Huh? What? But then why do you need me to pick up a banana? Is there even a banana?
WH: Peel. And yes. Zare are many banana peels in my financial records. Zee actual sums are gone–like ze banana–but ze records are zare–like ze peel. And zay are really messy and need to be cleaned up by a numbers-janitor. So can you pick up zeez banana peels?
C: That is the single most roundabout way of asking a question I have ever heard. And yes. Yes, I can.
WH: I am very pleased to hear zis. I vould be delighted if you vould take ze job. But just one more question: If you saw an ostrich flying a kite, do you sink it vould be sad?

And so on and so forth…

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