Tag Archives: animals

One Amazing Ant Fact that Will Leave You Flummoxed

18 Jul

The_Ant_and_the_Grasshopper_-_Project_Gutenberg_etext_19994

Did you know that the African Alfalfa Ant produces a soft whistle while working? Though the whistle is inaudible to humans, the ant is actually able to create a simple melody which its fellow ants (assuming they are from the same species and nest) recognize and regularly emulate–in effect, they sing along with each other. Another interesting fact about the African Alfalfa Ant is that it doesn’t exist and all this was made up. Time thievery, this was. A clear cut case.

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Musing On My Favourite Animal

15 Jan

Portrait_of_a_Proboscis_Monkey

INT. RESTAURANT – EVENING

MONKEY and ME sit across from one another in a busy fine dining restaurant. We are old chums, and as such, have a past with one another…

Monkey: No, I will not keep my voice down!
Me: Dammit, stop making a scene. I just asked why you always have to bring it up.
Monkey: Why I have to bring it up? Are you kidding me? Given what happened tonight!?
Me: It was two years ago, come on.
Monkey: Yah, and the Rwandan Genocide was 20 years ago, but that didn’t stop Don Cheadle from clinching an Oscar nomination for his role as Paul Rusesabagina in Hotel Rwanda.
Me: Hotel Rwanda was made in 2004! It wasn’t 20 years ago when they made it.
Monkey: Details. You’ve always been petty like that.
Me: Petty? Me? You keep bringing up that night from over two years ago!

I swipe my hand across the table, knocking a wine glass on the floor and smashing it.

Monkey: Jesus Christ, now you’re making an ass of yourself.
Me: Well, maybe if you wouldn’t poke and pry so much!
Monkey: What do you mean poke and pry? I just asked a question.
Me: No, you’re prying! You’ve always been nosy like that.

A pause.

Me: Wait! No! I didn’t mean it like that!
Monkey: You asshole.
Me: I wasn’t talking about your…I was just saying!
Monkey: You’re a real asshole, you know that?

Monkey sits up, throws some cash on the table for the bill and leaves, alienated and disgusted.

A friendship is ruined.

END

This Laughing Parrot

24 Jun

It knows your secrets.





All of them.


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