Coffee Is the New Lunch?!

19 Jun

Liberty Leading the People - Eugène Delacroix

Liberty Leading the People – Eugène Delacroix


If coffee is the new lunch then what happened to the old lunch?

***

An expression of realization falls over my face like the shadow cast by a cloud sailing in front of the sun.

I WANT MY LUNCH BACK!

I run to the office lunchroom, fork in hand.

Security is called.

Three gruffs wrestle me in an attempt to remove me from the office. I resist.

A crowd of browbeaten office drones congregate to watch the spectacle.

***

Within the din of the crowd, a small but sharp voice is heard:

Lunch. Lunch. Lunch.

The voice grows louder, multiplies and snowballs into a crescendo:

Lunch! Lunch! Lunch!

As I continue to struggle with the gruffs, the crowd’s chant rises into thunder:

LUNCH! LUNCH! LUNCH!

Finally, the righteous fury of the people is released:

LUNCH! LUNCH! LUNCH!

(OFFICE) WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

NO CAFFEINATION WITHOUT DIGESTITATION!

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

LUNCH OR DEATH!

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

The Boss enters the floor.

A few people notice. Then more people notice.

A domino effect of silence ripples through the crowd.

The crowd melts away, its white hot fury evaporating into the tepid clattering of keyboards; steam into air.

Not with a bang but a whimper…

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One Response to “Coffee Is the New Lunch?!”

  1. the muscleheaded blog June 20, 2014 at 8:07 am #

    Me too, dammit. LUNCH!

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