Ahmadinejad Rails Against the iPhone 5 at UN

28 Sep

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Earlier this week, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad delivered a fiery speech denouncing Apple’s iPhone 5 at the United Nations headquarters in New York. He called the smartphone, “a marketing gimmick so deceptive that only the Jews could devise it.” This invective prompted the Canadian delegation to walk out, despite their patriotic loyalty to the Canadian-made Blackberry.

Ahmadinejad went on to criticize the iPhone 5, claiming that, “it’s just like the iPhone 4, but a bit thinner. Why do you need that? Isn’t it thin enough already? So it has a few more apps — big deal; maybe if it had an app that let you find where the American drones were flying then it’d be cool, but without that, no dice. And Siri. Fuck Siri. I don’t need you to answer my questions. I have an Ayatollah for that! He says that I am a very handsome, smart man.” This rambling continued along similar lines for about 20 minutes. At one point Ahmadinejad produced a carrier pidgeon from his pocket, released it into the General Assembly, and stated, “See this? Why isn’t this good? This would work fine in a nuclear winter. It worked fine in the 12th century; what’s so bad about it now?”

While the Iranian president proclaimed his criticisms of Apple, Apple’s loyal fans and customers staged a protest outside the UN headquarters, expressing their unwavering support for the technology behemoth. Some demonstrators underlined their outrage at the Iranian president’s criticisms with chants such as:

“Death to those who blashpeme against the Prophet Steve Jobs, peace be upon him.”

“There is one tech company and Steve Jobs is its prophet!”

“Apple is the one true tech company!”

“Behead the Windows users!”

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4 Responses to “Ahmadinejad Rails Against the iPhone 5 at UN”

  1. gaypancakes September 28, 2012 at 4:21 am #

    hehehe good one

  2. Miche Sipes September 28, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

    Too funny. Love your stuff!

  3. fatherkane October 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

    Reblogged this on The Last Of The Millenniums and commented:
    Many humble apologies for taking so long to get around to reading this GREAT post!
    Love It!!!

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