5 Amazing Answers to Kids’ Innocent Questions

30 Aug

1. Lifestyle

Q: Why do people smoke?
A: Because cigarettes are like candy: delicious and fun.

2. Economics

Q: Why is that man sleeping on the street?
A: Because he likes sleeping on the street. If he didn’t like it, he would get a job and buy a bed. It’s his choice. Remember that. And don’t let his tears fool you.

3. Empathy

Q: Why does my mommy drink wine so much?
A: Because of you.

4. Tolerance and Acceptance

Q: My friend Timmy’s favourite colour is blue, but I like green. Which colour is best?
A: Your colour is best. In fact, don’t ever mix the colours. Keep the blues with the blues and the greens with the greens. It’s only natural.

5. Morals

Q: Will my doggy go to heaven?
A: No, dogs have puppies out of wedlock and, therefore, burn in hell for eternity along with your friend Timmy’s mother. By the way, do you have her number?


7 Responses to “5 Amazing Answers to Kids’ Innocent Questions”

  1. CaptKitty August 30, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    I like your answers. I wonder, what answers might you have when the child asks you about sex and marriage?

    • counterfeitcolumnist August 30, 2012 at 10:06 pm #

      Well, I ask myself, “what would Jesus do?” And I am left to conclude: no and no on both counts.

      • CaptKitty August 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

        I think Google would have more answers. I always ask, “What Would Google Say To Do?”

  2. fatherkane September 9, 2012 at 12:03 pm #

    Reblogged this on The Last Of The Millenniums.

  3. peerlesscynic October 3, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

    That’s funny stuff, I’m still laughing. And thanks for dropping by my little site, cheers.

  4. Carl D'Agostino October 10, 2012 at 9:39 pm #

    see “Fatherisms by carl d’agostino”-google. Not trying to promote myself on your blog so delete just thought you’d enjoy same theme stuff.

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