Archive | July, 2012

North Korean Idol

20 Jul

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea held its first “Idol” show on Wednseday July 11, 2012. The show was modelled the after the popular “American (imperialist, capitalist pig) Idol” and featured an ensemble of young women playing the “Rocky” theme song as well as an assortment of Disney tunes. Presiding over and judging the performance was Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.

Although he expressed public approval during the show (lest the loyal workers of North Korea despair in the sadness of their Dear Leader), in private, Kim Jong-un stated that he found the premier performance of North Korean Idol to be rather forced.

The whole thing just seemed contrived. Granted, the Rocky theme song is somewhat bombastic to begin with, but, then again, that’s part of its appeal. The trick is in realizing this and not overdoing it. Instead, this (performance) exaggerated everything! Even their smiles seemed desperate and put on. It was so forced it almost seemed like the performers were somehow compelled to play their instruments on pain of imprisonment or persecution — like they were being watched and judged by secret police or some callous, fickle despot!

Despite his disappointment, Kim Jong-un has stated that he will allow a second show to take place on his birthday. In fact, he has selected an attractive young lady from the first performance to sing a rendition of Marylin Monroe’s “Happy Birthday Mr. President” to him. Of course, the song will be adapted to North Korean cultural mores and so will instead be sung as, “Happy birthday Supreme Leader of North Korea, First Secretary of the Worker’s Party of Korea, Chairman of the Central Military Commission, First Chairman of the National Defense Commission of North Korea and Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army. Happy birthday to you.”

Catholic Fortune Cookies

17 Jul

Mea Culpa

RIM to Target Amish Youth

9 Jul

It’s no secret that RIM has been feeling a lot of pain recently. The Canadian telecommunications titan has seen its stock value plummet over the past year. Its PlayBook has been overshadowed by Apple’s very popular iPad products and even the iconic BlackBerry has been losing ground to the latest models of iPhones and Androids. Given these setbacks, RIM has decided to target a market yet untouched by Apple and Android or virtually any tech company for that matter: the Amish. In particular, the beleaguered wireless company is aiming to woo Amish youth, who, though not as tech-savvy as their non-Anabaptist peers, are nonetheless curious of the temptations of the modern, morally compromised world.

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